Future

Well The holidays are almost over and once I go back to school I have exactly 2 days to figure out if I am applying to University or College. University applications are due Jan 11, you can apply later but then you don't get equal consideration. If i go to college however then I have till the beginning of Febuary. It is such a tough decision to make.

If i go to university It will cost roughly $5000 a year, but I automatically get a $1 250 entrance scholarship because of my average(as long as I keep it up the rest of the year) which would help. However college is about $3000 and no entrance sscholarship is guaranteed. My parents said they'll pay for it if I work on getting as many scholarships as I can, I feel bad though because I have been looking for a job for almost a year now but living in a small town means not that many jobs especially a town with a University and a college in it. I really really wish I could help them pay for it, I feel so guilty that I have to ask them for money. I know they will do everything in there power to help pay for it and won't be angry about it as long as I keep up my grades but they don't have tons of money and I'd like them to not have to worry about money all the time anymore.

*Sigh* then you throw in that I'm not quite sure what I want to do with my future and my head gets all jumbled and I feel like I can't breath and I just want to runaway and live like a hermit, but even that takes money nowadays.

And the program I'll take depends on where I'll go, and they couldn't be two more different things. At university I'll take a bachelor of arts(honours) with a combined major of Gender Equality & Social Justice And Religions & cultures. At college I'll take Film and Television production. Right now I'm leaning towards film and Television becasue ever since gr 6 I've wanted to be part of the movie business and my passion for those mediums has only increased. But I've never had a real chance to actively pursue either as a hobby so who knows If I'll be any good at it?? I won't know till i've paid and started... its going to require a big leap of faith and I do know If I am brave enough to take that leap...what if i'm wrong?